Nikah among Muslims is a solemn and sacred social and religious contract between the bride and groom. This contract is a strong covenant ( mithaqun ghalithun) as expressed in the Qur’an 4:21. The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament . It is revocable.
Primary Conditions of Nikah
There are 3 primary conditions of a nikah which must occur in order to validate the marriage.
Firstly, the nikah should take place after the mutual agreement (Ijab -o- Qubul) between the bride and groom. Secondly, Two adult sane witnesses must be present, either 2 males, or 1 male and 2 females. Lastly, the Mahr which is the marriage gift paid to the bride by the groom either immediately or later on should be decided and agreed upon.
Secondary Conditions of Nikah
There are 4 secondary conditions of nikah are the presence of a legal guardian (wakeel) representing the bride. Secondly, a written marriage contract (“Aqd Nikah”) signed by the bride and groom and witnessed by two sane adult witnesses. Thirdly, the presence of a Qadi to officiate the marriage ceremony. Lastly, the Khutbah-tun-Nikah should take place in order to soleminize the Nikah.
10 Significant Points to have a Successful Marriage
Ibn Abbas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, “We have not seen anything that creates love between two individuals such as nikah.” (Ibn Majah)
There are various ways of increasing love between a couple. Consider these following ten points to maintain a happy marriage and control the instinct of dispute.
- Fear of Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) to make the spouses aware of the fear of Allah before performing a nikah by reciting the verses (Al-Nisa 14, Al-Ahzab 69, Aali-Imraan 101) from the Qur’an. All the verses are common in the message of taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will first be committed to Allah before being committed to each other. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.
Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahaabi came to Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) and sought some advice. Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “Control your anger.” The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkat Pg. 433; H.M. Saeed)
If one has to win an argument, let the other win : Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the center of Jannah.(Mishkat Pg. 412)
Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said, “And lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey.” (Surah Luqman 19)
Criticize only when necessary: If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “A Mu’min is a mirror for a Mu’min.” (Abu Dawood Vol 2, Pg 325 ) Advice with dignity and in a calm tone.
Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyamah.”
(Mishkat Pg. 429)
Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) confirmed the advice of Salman (Radhiyallahu Anhu) to Abu Darda (Radhiyallahu Anhu) for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai 2391)
Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiyallahu Anhu) resolved his dispute with his wife over feeding the guest before going to bed.(Bukhari 602)
At least, once every day, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.” (Abu Dawud, Pg 662)
When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “All the sons of Adam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.” (Tirmidhi 2499)
These 10 points if followed, can result in a very happy, and successful marriage, increasing the love and compatibility between a couple.